No really - what is it that prevents you from doing the things that will bring you the life and lifestyle you imagine when you daydream?
I'm talking about your fear of moving out of your comfort zone in order to achieve greater things.
I, for instance, am afraid of making contact with potential new clients in my business - something that could be fatally limiting if I am to continue to grow my income :(
However, I face that fear and do what I have to do in order to win new clients because I know that my fear is irrational and incompatible with my goals.
OK - confession time is over but I want you to know that however confident a person is, they always have fears that need facing and overcoming if they are to grow as a person and there by reach what they are striving for.
Today's guest article can help you face your fears by giving you nine easy steps to follow. And remember, if ever you become aware that your fears are limiting your success, just think of ordinary-old-me doing the very same - and winning.
If I can do it, then so can you!
Are You Ready to Stop Being Afraid?
Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to
face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with
the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the
fear of it. ~Judy Blume
When we talk about our fears we naturally tend to focus on the BIG boys; fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, loss and rejection.
While there is no shortage of advice on how to overcome fear, it's easy to fall into overwhelm just thinking about where to begin.
So, you're afraid of change - does that mean ALL change, or just some change, and specifically WHICH type of change would that be?
The truth is, if we take a look at our day-to-day lives, we are far more likely to discover that these big picture fears aren't as easy to spot as we may expect, because they have a way of infiltrating our lives in the form of many small fears which, over time, can actually be far more insidious and damaging.
You see, we tend to gloss over these "mini" fears, because rather than an outright threat, they tend to feel more like vague resistance, but they are nonetheless powerful enough to cause us to avoid making decisions or doing things until we're "better prepared" or "until the time is right." Often this type of avoidance is chalked up to "procrastination" when in fact it is fear based.
Individually these small fears may seem inconsequential, but add them up day-after-day over the course of a year and you're dragging a pretty big ball and chain behind you!
Everyone is Afraid of Something.
When we talk about our fears we naturally tend to focus on the BIG boys; fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, loss and rejection.
While there is no shortage of advice on how to overcome fear, it's easy to fall into overwhelm just thinking about where to begin.
So, you're afraid of change - does that mean ALL change, or just some change, and specifically WHICH type of change would that be?
The truth is, if we take a look at our day-to-day lives, we are far more likely to discover that these big picture fears aren't as easy to spot as we may expect, because they have a way of infiltrating our lives in the form of many small fears which, over time, can actually be far more insidious and damaging.
You see, we tend to gloss over these "mini" fears, because rather than an outright threat, they tend to feel more like vague resistance, but they are nonetheless powerful enough to cause us to avoid making decisions or doing things until we're "better prepared" or "until the time is right." Often this type of avoidance is chalked up to "procrastination" when in fact it is fear based.
Individually these small fears may seem inconsequential, but add them up day-after-day over the course of a year and you're dragging a pretty big ball and chain behind you!
Everyone is Afraid of Something.
- Begin by defining your fears. The first step to effectively solving any problem is to "define" it. Our aim is to start small, so begin by making a list of specific things, actions or circumstances you typically face during the day that create the feeling of fear or anxiety in you. Think of these as your "mini" fears. If you can't think of any, try thinking of situations you typically go out of your way to avoid - like doing whatever it takes to avoid running into Estelle, the bully in accounting.
- Where is the fear coming from? Once you begin to define your fears, give some thought to what it is about this particular activity, situation (or person) that makes you feel anxious. The better you are able to define what is creating this feeling of fear, the faster you'll be able to regain your personal power.
- Resolve to face one mini-fear a day. Before you to go to sleep every night, write down the fear you are going to face the next day and a few thoughts on what you plan to do. Using the example of avoidance, imagine walking up to Estelle (the bully in accounting) with a smile on your face and a friendly, "Hi, how are you today?" Remember, your goal is not to suddenly become her best buddy; it's to regain your personal power so that you no longer feel fear at the very thought of being near her. Or maybe the mini fear you've chosen to tackle is the fear of asking for help. Again, start small by asking for something simple like a recipe or recommendation for a restaurant. At the end of each day, make a few notes in your journal about how it felt to face your fear, and decide on the mini fear you'll work on the next day. Don't worry if things don't always work out the way you plan; the fact that you are taking action is something to be proud of, and that you can build on.
- Ask yourself, "If I weren't afraid, how would I behave?" This is really just another way of saying, fake it till you make it. When you think of overcoming your mini fear, imagine how you would behave if you felt confident rather than afraid. For many people behaving the way you want to be can actually change how you feel. In a way your feelings catch up to your actions.
- Be patient with yourself and trust yourself to grow. It takes time to banish even the smallest fear, so be patient, trust your instincts, and just keep moving forward.
- Cultivate relaxation techniques. Unclench your jaw, soften your forehead, open your fists, slow down your pounding heart, and don't forget to breathe. Take mini relaxation breaks throughout your day.
- Celebrate your successes. We tend to beat ourselves up when we fail, and fail to celebrate when we succeed. Strengthen your belief in yourself by reflecting on even the smallest successes. Write it all down. You'll be inspired, motivated and amazed by your list, and how you can build on each success.
- Build momentum. This is where you start to see real progress. As you begin overcoming your "mini" fears, you'll soon begin to find yourself facing up to the larger fears and self-doubts in your life. Just imagine, if you start today to face up to even your smallest fear, and continued this process facing bigger and bigger fears - how could this transform your life by this time next year?
- Help others. There is something so powerful about lending a helping hand to encourage others. As you steadily overcome your own fears and become stronger and more confident, look for opportunities to reach out to those who are just beginning the journey to offer encouragement.
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